Love can change everything!!!

I woke up this morning with so many different thoughts on my mind. What, when, where, who, and how seem to be the beginning of everything I think. God is working and I can feel Him, but the answers are still not clear. So I will be patient. The one thing that keeps turning in my head is how this all began. This journey of following God to do things that were so beyond me. Things that I would never do, or ever dream of. It started with the move to Savannah. But that was just the beginning. God brought us here for a reason unknown to us at the time. It wasn't until September 2008 that we would embark on something that would change our life forever. This life change would come in the form of a little boy named "Aleks". Jamie and I decided to host this little boy from Latvia for 4 weeks and allow him to experience Christmas in America. Who knew that this little boy would cause a beautiful disaster. Anyways, my story actually begins the night of January 14th 2009. This was our last day with Aleks. We knew that the next day we had to drive him back to the airport and send him back home to the life that he so desired to leave behind. It was quite a helpless feeling. Here were my thoughts... 

(January 14, 2009)

I wish I could explain the feeling I have in my stomach. I lay here with so many thoughts. I have to admit I am angry. Right now nothing makes since. I have the desire to do so much, yet there are chains that bind me saying NO. But Why. All I can do is cry... and when I finish crying, I cry some more. Right now 10 feet away from me a little boy sleeps. A little boy who deserves a Mom and Dad that love him. For the past 4 weeks that is what he has received. Unending, unselfish love. But it all stops tomorrow. Is that possible? NO! We will never stop loving him. But does he know that? Does he know how much we care for him? My anger is fueling, my hurt is devastating. But the person I turn to is SILENT! God!?!? Why??? Doesn't he deserve a family that loves him? Doesn't he deserve to be raised in a family that loves you? I am laying here begging you to do something...anything. Please don't make me send him back home with no hope. God I can't handle this! Why would you do this? We love him. We know you love him more. So please do something! 

I had no clue at the time that God was working in a way that was much bigger than I thought. The morning of January 15 was a horrible day. I remember the numb feeling all over my body. It was as if I was being forced to do something that I did not want to do. I have never felt so much pain in my life. But I was without a choice. We packed up Aleks and got in the car. He seemed pretty quiet this morning. Not his normal self. I wish I could have known his thoughts. Was he hurting, did he understand, did he know that we loved him? These questions almost killed me. If they were doing this to me, I can't imagine what he was going through. But again I state, God was working!

I am going to move on in my thoughts. If I don't I will be here all day. We said our good byes and Jamie and I drove back to Savannah. It was a quiet ride. I longed to do something, anything. I couldn't live with the fact that I just sent Aleks back to an ORPHANAGE! I was so mad at God. I kept telling myself... I refuse to allow him to live there. But, what was I to do?

FACEBOOK! That was it! I had to find someone. Someone who would listen, care, and DO SOMETHING! God is so Amazing! I posted on Facebook..."Is anyone interested in Adoption?" This was the only thing I knew to do. And it worked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

What is so crazy is that this story is just the beginning. God radically changed my heart. He taught me that it is possible to love someone with out even knowing them. He also taught me His love for me. God loves us more than we can even imagine. It's a love that never stops, ends, or fails. Now I want to share this love. I want to change the lives of orphaned children around the world. I want them to know that they are loved and that they are worth loving. I want to hold them in my arms and let them know that someone cares. They are not forgotten! I truly believe that we can change their lives with love. Love can change everything...